Because I Win

I get Bridezillas...

2009-03-30T18:07:00.004-04:00

OH HOLY F*&#! Wedding planning is HARD! And when you are poor... it's even harder! UGH! But for the heck of it this is what I know for sure now... Colors... seriously aside from the girls in black, any of this could change, but I am doing blush, pewter(think dark silver), and black. Time frame? Spring 2010. I have two brothers getting married this year so 2009 for sure was out. And drum roll please.... The girls who will be keeping me from murdering someone there is always someone to murder,
Ms. My Wifey my Maid of Honor (Love this pic!)

Ms. EGIS Bridesmaid (Why is this the only picture I can find of the two of us? HELLO 2005!)

Ms. Jess Bridesmaid (Pretty girl in RED!)

Other up in the air ideas, Outside, old south feel, Buffet, lots of D-A-N-C-I-N-G, and other surprises I can't put on here... but that is a short and quick up date so far!

Calling all Married Women!!!

2009-02-28T17:41:00.003-05:00

Being engaged is so much fun! I love all the attention! But now all the stress of wedding planning as begun and I am OVERWHELMED already! Colors, dates, locations, flowers, food, $$$$$$... what's a girl to do! I could so use some suggestions of web sites, locations, and ANY money saving ideas ANYONE has would be greatly appreciated! The only decision I have made is who the Groom is going to be! I need help!

Along with all of that maddness. I am in a despirate need of dropping some pounds! We know that we are not looking to set the date until Feb,March, April of 2010, but I also have a good 30 to 35lbs that have got to GO. I am also looking for some good HEALTHY recipes and or web sites.. So share share share! I am going to need all the help I can get in this department! Ugh... working out...

He Put a Ring On It!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!

2009-02-28T17:19:00.005-05:00

Ladies, it's official. Harb is off the market and MINE FOREVER! Harb proposed Friday February 20th and this whole magical world of "wedding planning" has started!

Fridays are such hard days for me. Harb leaves work every Friday at 11am... yes that's right I said AM. I however work my same ol' 9 hour hellish shift.

Well this particular Friday I got to leave a whole 15 min early and never looked back as I ran to my car. First thing - Call Harb - Second thing - proceed to plan on where my binge drinking will start in hopes of erasing the awful week that has just ended. So I picked up my phone and called... "hey babe I'm headed home finally.." "Ok, sweetie I will see you when you get here.. just take your time..." Hummm... He's being awfully sweet... whatever, I'll take it!

After going 95mph to get home I turn into our neighborhood already starting to feel better, take my first right, round the bend, and there it is a 15 foot banner that reads... "Will You Marry Me?" uh.. HELL YES I WILL! I could barely pull all the way up the driveway I was shaking so bad from the total shock and excitement! Harb came out the front door as I was stumbling out of my car muttering "are you serious??" over and over. He got down on his knee and asked me formally and through my tears I rattled off the word "yes" at least a half a dozen times. He put the ring on and it was official and I was beside myself! The shaking was uncontrollable and I couldn't stop staring at the beauty that is my ring, and kissing my FIANCE!!!
It couldn't have been more perfect! AND he followed my 3 rules I gave him. 1.) He could do anything, but it couldn't cost a DIME. My soon-to-be hubby cut some deals with customers at work to get the banner for free 2.) I wanted to be surprised, no idea when or where He totally got me. 3.) JUST me and him, I didn't want anyone else there when it happend I wanted it to be just our moment. Y'all HE is what dreams are made of. Or mine are atleast! ♥

Made My Day Brighter!

2009-02-11T19:54:00.003-05:00

Yay! Thank you Laughing Lolly for my first blogging award! I don't know if cute is the word I would use to describe my blog, but I will take what I can get! I am now supposed to list the blogs I love and well first they all already have been given this award and second they are all listed in my GO HERE section. So... if you haven't visited these awesome bloggin' ladies pages yet... DO IT NOW! Please? They will keep you entertained for hours! ♥ to all of you who keep my interest peeked daily!

On Notice

2009-02-11T12:27:00.004-05:00

It's that time... Things that drive me nutts-o. I'm sure you think this list should be longer from all the complaining I do, but I don't have that kind of time, so here are the Top 5. Drum roll please.....

1. If you keep up with my blog at all you know I baby-sit on the side to make ends meet, when I say this, I mean to pay off my massive amount of credit debt I accumulated during my 7 year span of college and now terribly regret. If not for this I wouldn't be doing so bad actually. So what is on notice? People who ask for me to sit or excuse me, beg me to sit for their children who make me want to rip my own face off, and then cancel.---- Had to do an edit here... 3/2/2009
2. Bills that come in the mail that say "Due Upon Receiving" to me this means, when I am good and ready to give you the money. Just give me a damn due date because if not I will put off what you say I owe you right now and pay another bill and so on till I forget about you. Then you try to act like it is my fault that you still haven't received your precious payment. JUST GIVE ME A DUE DATE and it will be there. Trash company, you are ON NOTICE.

3. Parents who have children in my classroom, JUST DROP YOUR CHILD OFF AND GO! For heaven's sake! Whether you sit in the room for 1 minute or 20, if your child is a crier they will cry. In fact the more you try to make it better the worse it will get. LEAVE. The majority of the reason they cry is because they know it will work, you idiot. Trust me, the second you are out of sight they are drying up their tears just in time to shove the child who was just playing the crying game with their idiot parent off the tunnel slide so they can sit on top of it and act like they are somebody. Parents you on notice.

4. My Jeep Grand Cherokee is ALWAYS on notice.

5. Last but not least, the gym. Why are you so far away, full of intimidating equipment, swarming with tan skinny people, and still getting my money from me. Gym you are def. On Notice. Ugh....

Catching a Break....

2009-02-11T12:12:00.004-05:00

Seriously, its my time. I am so tired of getting unexpected bills, illnesses, working a dead end job, I could just scream, which without fail happens towards poor Harb who does nothing but make me happy. I need a vacation, but oh yeah... I have no $$ and I can't afford to take off work. Grr...

PS. These headaches suck balls and need to find someone else's head to bug. PLEASE!

Two Thumbs Up

2009-02-01T20:25:00.003-05:00

Since Christmas I have been spending the majority of this year trying to get over illnesses. Irritating beyond belief. I don't think I have had a solid week of health in 2 months. Anyway.. This weekend was no different. I had to leave work early in fear of vomiting my whole life up onto the floor and got home just in time to find out I had a 101 fever and the chills so bad I was yelling at Harb that he was wrong and the thermostat was wrong and it was definitely 50 below in our bedroom. Yes Harb was home with me on a Friday afternoon because he gets off work every Friday at 11am... Hate him, I do. (Not really.. but you get it.) I was curled up under 3 blankets wearing pj pants, slipper socks, tank top, and a long sleeved shirt, which if you know me at all... I couldn't sleep comfortably like this for million dollars. Underwear, a sheet, and the fan on high and you will still hear me toss and turn bitching about how damn hot it is before I finally ware myself out (and Harb) and fall asleep. I woke up Saturday weirded out by how normal I felt considering the day's prior drama. I was weary to do anything so I laid in bed till about 2 watching TV waiting for the fever to come back or something. Stomach pains lasted all weekend but managed to keep the goodies in the belly.

I couldn't find much on and came across the movie You've Got Mail on Oxygen. I was in a girlie mood and it had just started so I left it on. Y'all, seriously if you haven't watched this in a while or ever seen it, please do! It is so adorable! And random cameos. The female doc from Grey's Anatomy whose now a lesbian, plays a cashier, and then Dave Chapelle from The Chapelle Show plays Tom Hanks friend, and I am sure there's more but those two stood out the most. This is a must rent.

Later in the afternoon my mom convinced me to go see Out of Town with Rene Zellwegar and Harry Conack Jr. Seriously grab a girlfriend and go. If you can get your man to go, I am pretty sure he will like it too, but its kind of like convincing him to see The Notebook and then trying to get them to admit they cried and liked it. This movie will make you laugh a lot and tear up just a little, a perfect combo in my opinion. And if you have any roots from up North, you will relate and laugh harder my mom and I had some stares and a comment from the guy next to us (a nice one) from laughing so hard. FYI basically my whole family is from Minnesota and I was born there.

When my mom dropped me off I was still a little ew feeling so Harb and I decided to just rent a movie and get a pizza. We ended up renting Max Payne Harb's choice and Pineapple Express partly from the review from http://laughinglolly.blogspot.com and it just looked funny. Max Payne forget it. Confusing and no answers at the end. I have about 2,000 questions plus for the writer of that awful Mark Walburg movie. Moving on. Pineapple Express is hysterical. I am going to leave it at that. I know if I say too much it could ruin it for someone else who hasn't seen it, too much hype could make it suck. And if you are my mom and think you will rent PE and think it is funny, you will not, so pick something else. Love you, but you won't get it.

Today, no movies, just the usual Sunday routine, laundry, random TV mainly re-runs of HOUSE, and light cleaning, I am now on the couch keeping Harb company watching the Super Bowl I hate NFL football and just making sure I feel better and no more missing work or weekend fun due to stupid illnesses.

"What I Love About Sundays!..."

2009-01-26T17:39:00.002-05:00

Aahhh... you get to sleep in... (which I am not all that happy with myself about considering I swear every Monday to myself that the next Sunday I will go to church.. but whatev.) You might throw in a couple loads of laundry, sip on coffee and snuggle up to watch horrific Lifetime Movies (or if this is no good, re-runs of the reality junk on MTV and VH1, either way I'm down.) and then the awesome fact that Harb with hang with me! (He's amazing) You get up just enough times to shower, fold laundry, and get a good snack. And you have all day to look forward to the great TV entertainment of Sunday nights.

My weakness? I am still a big fan of Desperate Housewives, and Extreme Home Makeover. Of course part of my night was crushed when Harb reminded me of the horrid fact that DH was not on, but I at least still had EHM.

I swear that EHM the best show ever. Three things happen every time:
1.) I want to be apart of the show, preferably the person who gets to go shopping, but I wouldn't be that picky...
2.) I cry my eyes out at least once
3.) I always complain about the tasteless "themed" bedrooms for usually the kids. (One of the worst? The Duct Tape room, that poor kid has officially lost the one friend he may have had after this show aired. Seriously? When they say they have a hobby like that, you give them a new one... duh.)

If you don't already watch this show, you need to, it will humble you so quickly.... (However, the awful day of the week we call Monday, can throw you right back into the slump you've been in.... Mondays... ugh.)

chew chew chomp chomp....

2009-01-22T12:17:00.003-05:00

I have a mile long list of pet peeves I know shocking right? Whatev. One that is in the top 5 however is having to listen to people chew food. The top 5 rotate at all times depending on what is annoying me at that moment.... OMG. Right now I feel the spiders crawling up my back, my face getting hot, and the urge to scream at the top of my lungs something hateful to make them stop. For instance: "If you don't find an F-ing quieter way to eat those carrots, I WILL figure out a quite place for them!" or you know something lovely like that. Why is this so annoying? We eat to survive, we eat more than once a day, it shouldn't be a big deal, but IT IS. The daily migraine is creeping in right about now... help.. me...

Eww.. and then make gulping noises... really? Why??

I Promise to....

2009-01-17T10:25:00.003-05:00

So it is that time of year again, you know, when everyone swears to loose that 20-30 lbs they have gained over the past few years. Or start going to the gym this time because "well I pay for it I might as well use it," start eating healthy, maybe stop smoking, drinking, having that random FILL IN THE BLANK, whatever the vice might be. January 1st is the start of changing that right? I call all of your bluffs. It doesn't work. New Year resolutions are just like saying... "I'll start my diet Monday." and you know, that Monday never actually gets here, even though we complain about Mondays every 7 days like its the plague. I know what you are thinking "UGH! how negative!" Well that's fine, hit me up in August when you have been to the gym twice in 8 months and are contemplating that next size up when stocking up during the end of summer sales, even though summer weather doesn't really end till like Thanksgiving here, but stores still insist on putting out Arctic type weather clothing. Of course there are some who will succeed in their promises to themselves, but for the majority of us it is just a sad and pathetic attempt at feeling better about whatever it is that we don't like about ourselves. Then when we fail which is almost always the case, we feel even worse and just try to never discuss with anyone again the Great Promises of 08' and soon to be 09'! So this year, my "resolution" is to not have one. No way to fail or feel bad. Good luck to all who have one, maybe my rant of disgust will encourage you to do well and prove me wrong, and I hope that for you. But if this is not the case and come August/September you see yourself looking at that next size up, or cig, or what have you, instead of getting down, just remember you are not alone, guaranteed someone else has already failed on their "resolution" making it perfectly OK to pick up that double digit size denim skirt. Be Proud! And I will see you January 1, 2010 making a resolution to not have one with me! Good Luck folks!

A Chocolate Kind of Day....

2009-01-15T12:39:00.001-05:00

UUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH UUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!
GEEZ! I need some chocolate. Today sucks. It is one of those days that I am NOT thankful for my job, I am just strictly thankful for a paycheck. Managers, Directors, higher up peoples, and whatever else you all like to call yourselves to feel important... are seriously idiots and I can never have their job because I am not an idiot. The majority of parents are idiots too. Suggestion? If your child throws up their lunch DAILY for the first 2 years of their life its a good sign something is wrong and "documenting" what and when they throw up is not taking care of the issue. Oh.. and the doctor who told you he "isn't sure" what is wrong is an idiot too and needs to have their licence revoked. And you, you idiot, need a new pediatrician. And just to add a little whip cream to it all.. 13 toddlers in a a room the size of my parents bathroom is insane. Even more insane? The idiot parents, again, who are paying out the ass for this "amazing" private school care. Lesson for the day? YOU'RE IDIOTS.
Am I over reacting? Probably. Do I care? No. Does the fact that my awesome monthly blessing from God is on its way and effecting my mood matter? ABSOLUTELY! So my next suggestion? GET THE F*CK OUT OF MY WAY! UGHH! I mean that in the nicest way of course.....

Hello my LLOOOOOOOOVE!

2009-01-14T17:54:00.003-05:00

So I have to cut Harb some slack. I feel bad for my last blog and giving Harb a nudge or a shove off the cliff... about getting engaged. I know it is coming but patience is not my virtue. Am I even using the right word there... whatever you get it.
Harb is amazing and I know he will do it at the perfect moment and I couldn't be more excited to spend forever with him! The most amazing part of him? He tolerates my nutty-ness and keeps me so happy! He treats me like I should be if I do say so myself! So Harb thank you for making me laugh constantly, back rubs, foot rubs, folding laundry through all of my complaining of how you are doing it wrong, cleaning the bathroom, playing with my hair, getting me milkshakes in the middle of the night my waistline however is not so thankful, buying me unexpected presents, making dinner even though I am the pickiest eater and complain about all food, I could go on and on but basically, you are amazing in every way... I LOVE YOU HARB! ♥

Happy News!

2009-01-14T12:50:00.003-05:00

So as much as I wish the good news what about ME. It's not. Boo. BUT! My oldest brother, JAG, ( I have 3 two older one younger) is finally engaged!! YAY! She is wonderful! And let me tell you.. it is about TIME! JAG has been through the ringer when it comes to women or psychos, whichever word you prefer! I am officially the only "single" person in the family... HURRY UP HARB!! =) But JAG deserves all the happiness in the world and I wish them the best! The Graff family is going to be having a very busy year this year... Peekers and J are getting hitched in June and I am pretty sure JAG and Chrissy will be married this year too. AND... HURRY UP HARB! 2009... it has some potential....

UGH!

2009-01-08T12:53:00.003-05:00

Is it Friday yet?! I mean seriously! The downfall of taking time of work... going back to work. I swear this week has lasted for at least an extra 2 days.... Soooo ready to sleep in. (Yes I still sleep in like a teenager... no hangover necessary.... I can sleep to noon no prob.)

Next..

UGG boots are not a total loss... but definitely not like new at all. They have a slight water stain on each from my cleaning efforts and the softness is so gone. But over all still wearable. Still puts a little knot in my stomach though thinking about it. As for Jess's yard.... still charred.. but we are looking forward to seeing what shade of bright green it takes come spring. =)

....

Decided, not down with black nails on me. I just couldn't get used to it, so I was a little excited inside when I got the first chip in the paint so I could take it off and not feel like I wasted a mani. Any other suggestions of fun colors??

....

I have exciting news, but I can't share it yet... Come Monday though I will share my excitement with you. Speculate away!! (Just for the relief factor and to re-a-sure you it is just my fatness, I am not prego. phew!)

Have a good weekend!!

Black the New French??

2009-01-01T14:21:00.003-05:00

So I did it. EGIS posted a while back about getting a mani and painting her nails black. I totally don't remember if she said she liked it or not I just thought it was cool and wanted to try it too. So months later I did it and totally don't know how I like it. Celebs do it all the time and it looks good (I think) but on me, not so sure. I was sure it was a fad that would go out as quickly as it came in, but people are still kickin' it. Probably won't be doing it again, but it was fun for a couple days atleast!

Out With a Bang! (Or a Yard Fire..Whichever!)

2009-01-01T13:44:00.007-05:00

So we had a pretty easy New Years Eve this year. We didn't plan anything big this year, mainly because of the awesome finances, but also because we didn't want to have to drive home from anywhere. So we just went over to a good friends house that we are at a lot for all the themed parties (most recent, Ugly Sweater Party). Just went pretty casual, sweater dress, UGG Boots, scarf, Comfy stuff! We were the first ones there and Jess had bought some fireworks, mainly for Harb because he loves shooting them off, so the first thing we do is pour a drink (duh.) and went out the the back deck to light one off. Nothing illegal for Georgia, just the Kroger special next to the check-out. It was not that thrilling, just like a souped-up colorful sparkler. Yay! O' the 3 second fun! So we went inside. Too cold, not enough to drink yet, and too cold. about 15min later, Harb goes to light off just one more before everyone else gets there, opens the door and yells, "Oh Shit! Call the fire department!!" Jess and I, "What?! Why??" Of course we have to go look first, can't always trust Harb to not be pulling your leg. Well, no leg pulling here, Jess's back yard is ON FIRE! Long story short, my cute new UGGS are no longer from fire stomping, had it not been for a neighbour who brought us a hose before the fire department showed up, there would have for sure been some homeless folks New Years Eve night. Ugh. Asked to have some fun, and got that.

Pictures Don't do it near the justice to what it really covered, which would be the WHOLE ENTIRE backyard. Harb got a "Good Work Buddy" from the fire fighters who where impressed with his fire fighting capabilities. And I got and uncalled for adrenalin rush and have I said RUINED new UGGS?! Whatever, to the yard owners (Jess and awesome roomies) We are so sorry. To anyone reading... ALWAYS make sure all is out before going back inside... Lesson Learned.

This is my attempt on saving the UGGS. Harb luckily bought me the cleaner too (he knows me so well.) I will let you know how they come out.

Yes that is the neighbors house it is touching...

House Update

2008-12-21T13:05:00.001-05:00

Promise photos of the house are coming. I have been loads of busy lately. Between working full time and babysitting part time to make ends meet, I barely have time to wipe my ass... Ironic since all I do is wipe asses all day... but whatever, I promise to take the time to take pics and actually post them. We are still working on quite a bit of the house (and probably will till the day we sell) but it has come along way from the photos posted! Merry Christmas everyone and Happy New Year!

Season of A-Holes....

2008-12-21T12:22:00.004-05:00

When I was little I believed in Santa Clause, ate candy canes and got great sugar highs, had high anxiety Christmas Eve night, loved Eve church service, and couldn't help but sing along to EVERY Holiday related song played. Short story... a constant good mood. As it should be right? So then what the hell is wrong with everybody? My encounter with Mrs. Stay-at-Home mom, her 3 kids, and SUV, surely out Christmas shopping, finally broke my spirit that I have been barely hanging on to this year considering the low flow of cash in my bank account and the accumulating of bills and the millions of bah-humbug-ers out there. I don't think we should call this the season of Giving anymore but the season of Patience. After Mrs. SAHM finished crossing 4 lanes of traffic laying on her horn and cutting 3 different cars off just because she was mad there was traffic and someone had blocked our lane from crossing, she did this with her 3 little ones in the back flailing around like little monkeys she decided to be selfish and endanger everyone around her, I realized, people have lost that loving feeling. That feeling you couldn't wait for when that last day of school before Christmas break started, back when it was Christmas Break, when sleeping was for the birds and playing with your friends 24/7 was bliss, and guessing what Santa was bringing you, and how many family members where coming to your house for Christmas or where you were going to travel to, the happiness, the joy, the peace. What happened? Where did we loose Christmas to the Holidays, to now just Winter time carefully sprinkled with red and green but not too much to offend or upset someone. What Happened? When did we replace Joy for Just pissed off? Think about it, and see how you add up? Smile at people as you pass them, take your time driving (use your blinker, thank people for letting you in or helping you out on the road, remember everyone is going somewhere just as important as you and making the next light is really not going to get you to your destination at a rate worthy of talking about so slow down, and be PATIENT.) Give sales associates a break, they are working long hours, and working harder than usual, they are doing their best. Expect waits at eating establishments and big parties to take your table for 4 away (pack the kids a snack and yourself as well). Just be Merry, Joyous, Happy. You are blessed. And try to remember that feeling from when you were little, when it felt like time might stop, and the good anxiety would kick in and you just couldn't stop smiling. And remember Patience. The attitudes have to go folks, so check-it at the door.

When "NO" means "YES" and vice Versa.....

2008-12-04T12:23:00.004-05:00

For those who don't already know, I am currently a lead teacher of a toddler room (age 18mo. to 24mo.) at a well known private preschool. Yes I know I must be crazy and a raging alcoholic at night...which isn't too far from the truth... and I have been working in this type of environment for about 10 years now. My eyes have been opened to so much when it comes to raising children and many times I have thought about dedicating a blog page to giving advice to these sad and pathetic parents I come across constantly. I say sad and pathetic in the nicest way possible. From all the experience and watching others trying to raise children I have formed some of my own ideas on Parenting..... in no particular order.......

there should be a parent test that has to be taken before people can even think of conceiving a child and having a dog that has lived longer than 10yrs and had no help from mom and dad in the "raising" counts as "experience."

starting in middle school there should be a required parenting course. Just like I also believe sex ed should start in kindergarten. Way to long of a blog for right now to explain what I mean.. just go with it.

There should be random monitoring of families of all shapes and colors ALWAYS. Even the bestest ever! families. There's always a time for help, advice, and just plain ol' date night, but this can become impossible if there is no family close or trustable friends around. Big Dog from college who is still single, parties all the time, and thinks beer should some how be a food group is not who we call a trustable friend either. There needs to be options for families and help even when some forget to ask for it.

and if at all possible we should have "Rent-A-Child" available to everyone to get a test drive of their future. Just add up diaper costs for the 1st three years of one child's life.... swallowing hard yet? Don't forget they eat, need a place to sleep, clothes, etc., you get the idea.... Some how people act like these things were all surprises to them after the child arrives... "You mean I clean the poop off their butt?!"

Honestly I could keep going.... but the point of this lesson today guys? Children are not an accessory we decide when to put on and take off... they are kinda that forever thing. Even when they are 30 and married with their own little ones... you still are a parent. BE ONE. You aren't their best friends, your also not grandma and pa. Meaning its not your job to give in to everything they ask for, or to spoil them silly, or to get into trouble with them... Your there to teach them how to be the best they can be and sometimes that means making them cry, or mad at you. But if you teach them well, together you will see that they love you and you love them, even if they can't have that "its only a $1!!" bouncy ball in the Wal-Mart checkout lane that they are surely going to die without. I promise, they are still going to hug you and kiss you. Time to be a parent, no one said it was easy, just a blessing.

Hummmm.....

2008-12-04T12:17:00.004-05:00

I am still laughing about this so I thought I would share it. With all the seriousness of a Judge, Harb made this comment to me the other night while watching tv and discovering something new about a pair of fleece lounge pants he has been basically living in... And if you know Harb at all you will enjoy the humor in this even more!

Harb: "Hey! These pants even have a wallet holder!"

Courtney: "Uh... you mean a back pocket?"

And just to clarify... yes he was talking about the back pocket. I love him.

Before Photos

2008-11-10T20:30:00.006-05:00

For those who don't know about the house Josh and I bought, it was my late grandma Graff's house. When she passed in 2002 my family sold it to an acquaintance who wanted to use it as rental property. The house was well kept but older, just needed some love and care. Well of course that didn't happen. After a run of renters, the last lovely white trash family to come through finished her off. From the mass amounts of pet damage and trash damage, the quiet little home I used to call "Grandma's" was a dump. It had become the dreaded home in the neighborhood with tons of horror stories of suicide attempts, domestic calls, and animal abuse. My grandmas home is now back where it belongs, in the family. The acquaintance who had bought it from my parents was going into forclosure (b/c renters weren't paying) and had to sell it quick, so with a little shove from heaven... we're BACK! Shy of having to rip walls down we have basically replaced everything thing we could in the home. The pictures are "befores" and I will have some "afters" to come. The absolute worst room in the house the master bath. Dogs were locked in here so there was a lot of urine stains and scratch marks on the woodwork.

Back guest room, 2nd to worst room. Another room where animals were locked up.Master bathGuest room, Josh laying on the floor, pooped.Guest BathroomBack porch where the renters would stack up all their trash b/c they didn't' want to pay for trash service.Mama in the kitchen attempting to save the stove.

Living room and kitchen eating area. All flooring had to be pulled up from pet damage.

Another angle on the living room.

OMG

2008-11-10T20:19:00.002-05:00

Sooooo..... I am not good at keeping up with this blogging thing now that I don't work infront of a computer and by the time I get home and finish whatever chore I started yesterday, I am pooped. Quick up date! Josh and I are in the house and my goodness it has been WORK! 1st I am spoiled. 2nd I am a self declared princess. 3rd I was the only girl out of 3 boys aka: never had to do anything for myself. What does all this mean? I am lazy and expect everything to be perfect without any effort from me of course! Seriously, I have threatened to put a For Sale sign up now at least a dozen times! I think we are finally coming to a slowdown on the "it's broke" statements and have been able to enjoy being homeowners. I have some before pics I will post, I haven't taken any afters. But let me tell you the pictures make this place look like it was a dime piece in comparison to what we really were working with!
I am back on the job hunt. Since the house was a money pit for the first 3 months, the masters dream is being put off till 201o and I am getting a better paying job come hell or high water! Any takers?!?
Well thats about it for now! Talk to ya in another 3 months! =) Really though I hope sooner!

It's My Life, Deal With It

2008-08-17T18:39:00.003-04:00

I was sadly mistaken when I thought if I could just graduate college I will be less stress, no more worries of paper due dates, getting to class on time to get that attendance grade, no worries about costing my parents a zillion dollars, and I would finally be making enough to get on my own feet. WRONG. My level of stress now is so sky high my back feels like I carry around a 50lb back back everyday and my headaches are becoming something I'm just getting used to having on a daily basis with no help from "Advil the Headache medicine." So what am I so stressed about you ask?
Well to not bore anyone with details I graduated college about a year and 1/2 ago and am on my 3rd job making 1/2 as much as the first job I took (long story if your wondering why in the world i would do that, just one example of reasons why I left, a 100mile total compute a day). Money is definitely the root of all my stress right now.
My debt. <-- That sentence alone makes my stomach turn. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, VISA you have ruined my life.
Harb and I are still trying to buy the same house now for almost 4 months, why so long? I have no idea! I don't even care to try and figure out why! So we are now living in between our parents and you can only imagine the fun of being at home and living out of boxes. Other stress of the how is the inside is basically gutted right now, and we have to fix it up, guess what this takes? MONEY. Great, since I have loads of this I just can't wait to get in there and spend it.
Overall, work is pretty good, but lately its like aliens have entered the heads of our directors and they have turned into Nazis. Over that behavior. Ready for them to come back to Earth. But until then, they have me wound so tight I'm afraid for the people around me when I snap. On top of work I am babysitting about 2 to 3 times during the week to make ends meet. I enjoy this of course, but now I am sleep deprived and have no time for myself. (I think I qualify as poor... but not sure now that works.)
My weight. Good lord my weight. (For those who will say "no you look fine" stop lying and use those breaths and words for a better purpose.) Of course I have done this to myself, and now I have to undo it, but I have no damn energy by the end of the day whether it is over at 5 or over at 10pm (depending on if i sit or not) I literally am crawling to get into the bed.
I am also going back to school Summer 09. But before I can get into school for my masters I have to take a bunch of tests. All of course cost money and time, which as you can see I don't have much of anymore.
Am I able to walk and talk? Yes. Am I breathing and over all pretty healthy? As far as I know (As soon as I can afford it I will be going to the doctor and the last visit almost 2 years ago didn't go great) Do I have a good family, friends, and Boyfriend? Yes. So I should just be thankful and deal right? My answer NO. I have a right to be stressed and upset right now, my life as I have been used to it has has never been this stressful. EVER! I am learning how to deal with it. So if you don't like my bad moods, or my stress talk, or whatever you decide you don't like, then leave me alone and go away. I am trying. I know I will be in a better place soon, cause what goes down, comes back up, but I really wonder how far down do I have to go here?? I'm starting to really snap.. (so watch yourself!)

Going to the Chapel.....

2008-08-12T17:38:00.003-04:00

Thought it was me? Not yet. But I'm sure it will be soon. Then why the chapel talk? Well... it's in the air. It's the age of all my friends. Weddings are the thing right now, soon it will be babies! My wish for all of my friends of course is that they are happily married and in love forever. The chances of this however narrows by the second. So what do you do when you are totally against one of your friends and their "partner for life" getting married?? Seriously, what do you do? Nothing about this other person do I like. I want so badly to say NO! PLEASE don't marry! but I know it won't work and they are going to do it anyway. I think at least. (I've heard good things about group prayer... maybe we should try that. :)) This person they want to marry has done nothing but make a horrible impression on all of us "peasants" and us "bad job" people. And we are all wondering what the parents of our friend think. There is no way they are happy about this marriage. So what do I/we do!?!?! Boycott? Keep Quiet?? Kill the outsider??? :) I mean enough of high and mighty's crap! We want our friend back!!

Miss Her!

2008-08-05T11:46:00.002-04:00

I talked to my wifey last night. She has moved into her new apartment in Texas solidifying the fact she is not coming back to me and is going to stay there. I am very happy for her through my bitterness of being left. =) I can tell she is doing much better now that she has moved in to her own place and is really becoming happy being away from me... (my own selfishness surprises me sometimes.) I totally miss her its nuts. My mom has always said through all the fights and drama I went through in High School and there after that I will be lucky to walk out of life with one true friend and that would totally be my wifey and I am starting to feel the strain of not having her close enough to go visit whenever I feel like it. Sometimes phone calls are just not enough! It's times like these when having money would be rrreeeaaallllyyyy nice so I could go visit!!!! UGH!

Add on to On Notice ----R-U-D-E

2008-08-05T11:34:00.003-04:00

Ok, I know you work at Taco Bell and that causes you to drop about a dozen levels in class, but does it mean you have to drop down in levels of being nice? I swear if Taco Bell didn't put their "you WILL crave me all the time" sauce in their food I would never go back because of the hideous service. I pull up to the drive through so excited to eat their crap and a dry, rude voice says, "HELLO!"

Me: "Um, Hi" totally taken aback by the rudeness.

Rude Voice: "UH, GO AHEAD"

Me: (BITCH!) "Yes I would like a no. 5 with a Baha Blas----"

BITCH: "Is that it?"

Me: (UH am I even done with the first part of my order???) No, also can I get 3 hard beef tac-----"

BITCH: "is that it?"

Me: (If she does that one more time I swear...) "NOOOO.... THAT is not it...... I also need 2 soft taco sup-----"

BITCH: "$10.89 is your total pull around"

Me: Yelling out my window as I pull around "You mother-f-ing bitch! If you hate your job quit! I was NOT done! UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Needless to say it didn't get any better from there. Seriously, if you hate your job that much quit, and if you are just that rude naturally, go crawl in a hole and die. There is no reason to be rude to me, I didn't do anything to you to make you miserable with yourself. I am just trying to eat some of your diarrhea inducing food and get on with my life, how this affects you I do not know. Taco Bell you are on Notice!

Almost forgot!

2008-07-29T17:10:00.003-04:00

I almost forgot! I chopped my hair off! It is up to my chin now if you can believe that! I finally did it. Now I don't know what I want to do with it, so I am just letting it grow for the time being. The picture is from this past weekend at a "PJ party" Harb went as Tom Cruise from I think its Risky Business. I just went in regular ol' VS pj pants and top.

Like to babysit? Need a sitter?

2008-07-29T17:09:00.000-04:00

So I just wanted to share with anyone who might be looking to make some extra money on the side and love to work with kids. I have been a member of Sittercity now for about 4 months and love it. www.sittercity.com is a place for parents and potential babysitters/petsitters to find each other. I have successfully met 6 different families and babysit for all of them. It really has taken not much effort on my part and I have been able to make extra money lately (much needed) to make ends meet. I highly recommend this site. If you have any questions about my experiences or how it works just ask!!

I'm BAAACCKKKK!

2008-07-29T17:07:00.001-04:00

So I know, once again I have fallen off the face of the Earth on here. I am going to try to keep up better now. Life has just gotten in the way of my blogging lately.
Updates:I am still working as a preschool teacher and loving it. Of course I make squat for money, but at least I am happy, and right now that is way more important to me. I am applying right now to go back to school next summer for my Masters of Arts in Education. This will allow me to start teaching in public schools and we help ease my mess of debt I seem to continue to make worse on a daily basis. I am really looking forward to getting back into school because I know the outcome will be worth it!
Harb and I are still trying to close on the house we have been trying to buy for about 3 months now. Seriously I think this whole thing has been a trick to see how long I can keep my cool before I start making rash decisions and calling people names (to there faces, we know this has already started.) I've really contemplated saying f-it but it really is a good opportunity. This attitude was intensified by the fact our lease ran out on the apartment and now we are living between Harb's moms house and my parents house. I think my family and parents are WONDERFUL, however they are even more wonderful when we are not living under the same roof. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!! But whatever, we keep truckin' along for the time being. Not much else has changed since my last update. That's about it for now! Promise it wont be as long next time!!

ON NOTICE Update

2008-04-19T12:23:00.003-04:00

So we need a little UPDATE here...

Jeep~ DIE. You and your stupid idea of what you call a vehicle DIE. If I ever think to buy a JEEP, DODGE, CHRYSTLER vehicle again in my life somebody better have a gun to my head. I will never tell someone to buy a Jeep ever... EVER! Piece of shit. NEXT!

Kitty~ Kitty now has a name... she is still with us... hissing in all her glory... Kitty is now Kiddy Crumbles curtosy of Harb! I think we are stuck with her. Oh well... she looks pretty!

Job~ Bad one gone, Good one in.... things are good!

Traffic~ This so gets worse by the minute. Just an FYI Blinkers were put in cars for a reason. Try it out! You will be amazed at how much more curtious people will be when you CUT THEM OFF! UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOW... Time flys

2008-04-19T12:11:00.003-04:00

Holy changes.... So I think it has been like... oh ya know... close to 3 weeks since I have last written on here and lordy how things have changed! Lets re-cap my life as quickly as possible.. shall we?
* Totally got he boot from a job a wasn't that fond of. I loved just about everyone I worked with (there are a few exceptions there) but as far as what I was doing... I would go as far as saying I hated it. So this was a catch 22. I finally got to stop doing what I hated.. but now I was jobless... and it was totally NOT on my terms...
* So whats a girl to do...? GET A JOB. I decided that this was my chance. I could finally do what I have been wanting to do.. get back in a classroom and go back to school to teach. I am now a lead teacher at a private school for toddlers and LOVE IT. I should be starting back school again in August if all goes to plan.
* My dad, Harb, and I are in the process of making a real estate investment that seems to be taking FOREVER! But it is my grandmothers old house. She passed a way in 2002 and my family sold her house to a friend who is now selling it back to us for much less due to some extenuating circumstances. I am very excited and I hope it all works out! Harb and I could really benefit from this opportunity! *Thanks dad!*
* The Hills... Oh The Hills... I have totally fallen on my duties of writing about LC and her fun filled life due to the lack of energy now to get on the computer. I can't promise anymore Hills blogs... BUT I am going to try to get one done for Monday nights show. So sorry again!
~So basically that is the update in my life... Sorry for the M.I.A. status I have had recently!

"Hello Paris!"

2008-03-25T09:07:00.002-04:00

So can I get an OMG! It is back. Badder than ever. The Hills people. Let's just recap.
~We left off with Lauren finally getting her brains about her and Whitney and her were off to Paris! Where was my internship during college that picked me up in limos and Benzes and shipped me off to places like Paris? But whatever... Brody was left behind, good thinking, I'm pretty sure he is 'just that into you' for camera time, but I guess we will see.
~Heidi FINALLY walked out on Spencer and went back home. But does she come back? That girl needs a damn intervention.
~Adriena, I'm not really sure of her point on the show except to make irrelevant comments here and there and flash her horse teeth. And of course she did contribute Justin-Bobby, what would we do with out his loony bin ass...
~Basically that sums it up. We were just waiting to see how Paris went and if Heidi's brain left her body again and she goes back to ass face.

So it Begins:
Lauren and Whitney start off with skipping out on their easy job obligations in Paris and pick up their borrowed (remember that part) dresses first. Of course they aren't able to pick up the shoes for the debutantes, the one job they had, and have started off the trip giving me anxiety.
L and W then meet up with some French men that apparently L has meet in the states before with Adriena (already making them 10 notches down from normal, datable boys). Our first vision of these unwashed frenchies is them ALL chain smoking like it will be illegal tomorrow and their bad hair, what catches.
In the meantime, Spencer aka ass face, gets the brilliant idea to go bug Heidi more and 'surprise' her in Colorado. Idiot. Of course she is less than ecstatic. I would just like to give a little shout out to her parents for totally giving ass face the cold shoulder, it gave me a little anxiety to watch but it was hilarious. I'm bored with this.. back to Paris!
So one dirty frenchy in particular takes a liking to Lauren and unfortunately Adriena made her debut on the episode by announcing that Brody had a GF after 2 days of Lauren being gone making L loose sight of clean men and flirts back with dirty frenchy. Ugh.
Dirty frenchy invites L and W out to a 'fancy' bar causing L to loose all sense of reality and she decides to 'sew' up her borrowed dress to make it wearable to the 'fancy' bar. Totally should have taken extra anxiety meds before this episode... L please turn back around you are headed right into crazy town.... Side note... who was the random deb boy? Uh Weird and moving on..
Anywho, they make it home safe and sound dress intact, thank god. But of course this can't be the end of the borrowed dresses... as L carefully unsews her stitching, and my heart skips beats, she realizes she has burnt the fabric of the dress on her curling iron. Good God. No worries Whit uses her wit and gets the rude frenchy whose 'problem it is not' to lend ANOTHER dress to Lauren.
Lets head back to good ol' Colorado. Setting: Dinner. Characters: Heidi, Dad, Mom, Ass Face. Mood: The most awkward, how did he not just get up and run, can cut the tension with one of Heidi's horse teeth, moods. Note: Ass Face, GO HOME, forget about Heidi, forget about The Hills, and forget about camera time, we are over you. NEXT.
Debutante Ball went Great, dresses were fab, and Whit is out of a job. What? Yes. That is how I took that awkward convo at the end of the ball. No worries it is Whit, she will pick up and move on with Grace.
But where has L ran off to? Oh yes folks, dirty frenchy just couldn't let her leave without potentially ruining her 2nd borrowed dress, seeing how long it took before she froze in the freezing weather and zipping around on a scooter with an engine, and ruining her cute hair with an awful helmet. Ugh, I don't like frenchy.
Basically we end there. The girls trip to Paris was sucessful..er...sorta.. L do not call dirty frenchy. Heidi kicked Ass Face out and he is headed back to LA to find a new place to live. I have never been more excited about seeing what happens to rich people that have no clue what goes on in the real world! I am ready to scoot out A and move in Lo, Lo rocks out. And is anyone as excited as me about Stephen coming back?! Nothing but great entertainment to come, don't deny it. Your addicted too.

Isn't she LOVELY!?! Isn't she BEAUTIFUL!?!

2008-03-24T12:04:00.003-04:00

For those who don't already know, I am offically an AUNT! YAY! Sofia Alicia Penner-Graff was born Wednesday March 19, 2008 at 7:09. She was 7lbs 15oz and 21inches. She is absolutely perfect if I do say so myself...! Stay away boys!

$$ Dalla Dalla Billz ya'll! $$

2008-03-24T11:52:00.004-04:00

Let me just start off by saying everyone making $50,000 and under should get a raise that brings them to that minimum. MINIMUM. If you are a college grad, not that this makes you better or worse than anyone, just more than likely in more debt, you should get another $5,000 a year. Then every year from your first year of working there should be atleast a 10% raise to keep up with JUST gas prices, not to mention Life in general.
And now as I come back to reality I hate bills, debt, and more debt. And boy do I have a lot of both. Why is it that I insist on keeping up with these people called the Jones'es when I obviously don't make the same amount of money and I certainly don't drive the same kind of cars or live in the same housing. But by-god I try. It is just stupid people! I am BROKE. Not eh.. I prob should hold out on drinks for one night. BROKE. Like I should just eat ramen and drink from the tap broke. How did I get this bad off? I have a salaried job, two degrees, and more debt than the average American. I am now having to babysit on the side to just keep up with my spending. (Which I actually love to do--the babysitting, not the spending.., but I am ending up with no free time) Whatever. I guess I am looking good doing it. Aren't I Proud? UGH.

Seriously?

2008-03-13T16:20:00.003-04:00

One: Who would think this up?
Two: Who has the time to figure all this shit out?
Three: You know it isn't going to work, so why stress yourself out.
Four: Isn't it just saying the same shit all the rest end up telling you, eat better = weigh less
Five: Moving On..... but thanks for getting my hopes up... skinny idiots

http://health.yahoo.com/experts/nutrition/10257/how-to-eat-more-and-weigh-less/

Guaranteed to Piss Someone Off...

2008-03-13T14:05:00.003-04:00

Below is an e-mail I received. I found it interesting and on a topic I am used to talking about. My major in college was Sociology and I spent a lot of time studying racism. The only comment I will make on this is I believe every single person is racist. I am not afraid to tell anyone that I believe I am racist. I would also say that it isn't necessarily all by choice either. Many things I think and act on come from stereotypes and "truths" that we face everyday which are from our own creation. Just like any other name you could call me, I could care less if you call me a racist too. I know what I believe, I know what I feel is right, but I also know I am more than likely the only person on the face of the Earth who thinks and believes exactly what I do and from our differences comes the word racism. If reading this angers you, get a life, if you don't get it, read it again. If it makes you think, then good. It should. What you think is up to you, but at least you are thinking....

Just an FYI:
From Websters Dictionary:
Racism: a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race
racial prejudice or discrimination

Michael Richards better known as Kramer from TVs Seinfeld, does
make a good point. This was his defense speech in court after making racial comments in his comedy act. HE MAKES SOME VERY INTERESTING POINTS.

Proud To Be White

Someone finally said it.
How many are actually paying attention to this?

There are African Americans, Mexican Americans, Asian Americans,
Arab Americans, etc.
And then there are just Americans. You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction. You Call me 'White boy,' 'Cracker,' 'Honkey,' 'Whitey,' 'Caveman' ... and that's OK. But when I call you, Nigger, Kike, Towel head, Sand-nigger, Camel Jockey, Beaner, Gook, or Chink ...You call me a racist. You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you, so why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live? You have the United Negro College Fund. You have Martin Luther King Day. You have Black History Month. You have Cesar Chavez Day. You have Yom Hashoah. You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi. You have the NAACP. You have BET. If we had WET (White Entertainment Television) we'd be racists. If we had a White Pride Day, you would call us racists. If we had White History Month , we'd be racists. If we had any organization for only whites to 'advance' OUR lives we'd be racists. We have a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, a Black Chamber of Commerce,and then we just have the plain Chamber of Commerce. Wonder who pays for that? A white woman could not be in the Miss Black American pageant, but any color can be in the Miss America pageant. If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships you know we'd be racists. There are over 60 openly proclaimed Black Colleges in the US . Yet if there were 'White colleges' THAT would be a racist college. In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for your race and rights. If we marched for our race and rights, you would call us racists. You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're not afraid to announce it. But when we announce our white pride, you call us racists. You rob us, carjack us, and shoot at us. But, when a white police officer shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug-dealer running from the law and posing a threat to society, you call him a racist. I am proud. But you call me a racist. Why is it that only whites can be racists? There is nothing improper about this e-mail. Let's see which of you are proud enough to send it on.

D-I-E-T

2008-03-05T14:12:00.003-05:00

Can I just get a big F-U to the word DIET? I am so tired of hearing about the newest way to loose weight! So Simple! 10 Quick Steps! Eat all you want and LOSE! Just to see the next day an article telling me why that diet, life style change, whatever you want to call it, is so awful for you. To be honest, I don't even know what to eat or drink anymore. Because according to the newest, latest, and greatest, it worked for my uncles, brothers, sister-in-laws, daughter, research everything and nothing works. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! So I am a little chubby, big deal. I can walk, talk some of you might wish otherwise, breathe on my own, I am for arguments sake healthy, alive, and blessed. So why do I obsess over this shit! I was rail thin till about 21. Then the weight fluctuation I like to call it started. Eat less carbs, eat no carbs, no fat, no sugar, no alcohol dream on, cut this cut that, add this add that. I can not for the life of me keep up with what I am "supposed" to be doing or not. I feel guilty after I eat, but then I worry when I don't that the next meal I have will stick in my system longer because I was starving before I ate and apparently it is now going to stick to my ribs or some stupid shit. (LOUD SIGH)So obviously staying active and eating fruits and veggies are good options, but I don't like those choices! UGH! Why can't a little plumpness be sexy, hot, or whatever! I am so annoyed. Oh and please no comments on your latest and greatest diet that "works" I really don't think I care. At least for today.

P.M.S. (please move shithead)

2008-02-27T14:06:00.003-05:00

I seriously can't understand why every month I must be tortured with a weeks worth of bad moods and self loathing and then another week of open wound syndrome. WHY!? Slowly the Devil Mountains begin to appear on my face because it is only natural that at 25 going on 26 I should still have breakouts and so starts the two week process all over again. It's crazy to me that anyone within 50 feet of me during these times of pure misery are still alive. I am amazed at the level of hate that just flows out of my mouth with on simple breath. In the back of my mind I think to myself "that is awful, stop saying that stuff" but it just keeps coming like diarrhea or vomit. My skin is crawling at everything and god for bid someone take to long to hit their gas petal in front of me at a light or someone decide to write a check for their ten thousand pounds of groceries as I tap my foot uncontrollably to let them know I am annoyed. I envision myself hurting these kinds of people in the most hideous ways all while I smile to myself as their heads pop off and blood spurts out in my mind. I am very dramatic and I like things my way and to enhance this kind of behavior is such a mistake on someone’s part! I literally have to focus right before I open my mouth to say something in fear of what might come out, the wrong way of course. For instance in stead of the standard, "Excuse Me" it sounds more like a muffled.. "Move you stupid Mother F'er, dumb f-ing idiot in MY way..."
I know some man undoubtedly invented Midol and Pamperin to try and handle this obnoxious behavior that of course he understands (f'ing idiot), but seriously, you have nothing better??? I don't like having to say sorry or that I was wrong or any of that non sense... so it would be greatly appreciated if someone would give me a cure so I can use those statements far less on my journey to what I hear is just awesome, Menopause.

Oh My....

2008-02-20T13:43:00.002-05:00

So I love the reality TV show The Hills. Lauren Conrad is great. I love the fashion, gossip, boy toys, and the D-R-A-M-A! It's just amazing. So for anyone who keeps up with the show at all knows that Laurens EX-bestfriend Heidi chose her majorly ugly boyfriend Spencer over pretty much everything else in her life and proceeded to become the "evil" character on the show. Well in desperation to save her name she and her awesomely dumbass boyfriend decided she could sing and should make a music video. (Good Lord.) With the help of dumbass and her new boobs, this was the best Heidi could come up with....

Oh Heidi. She has been trashed by everyone under the sun, aside from those random people who feel simpathetic and attempt to say something nice, and she doesn't know why. Really? Doesn't know why? Did she she her own video? Seriously I thought it was a parody from Saturday Night Live or something. She said she has been so hurt and can't believe people could be so mean. Again. Really? Has she met her boyfriend yet? Not only was he mean enough to tape this for her and put it out on the net, but he also spread awful rumors about Lauren causing Heidi and her to never be friends again pretty much because Spencer decided Lauren was a bad person. Huh. Whatever, anyway I could go on about this video, but I will not. You can see for yourself why Heidi should just go back to being the "evil" character on The Hills and leave the singer dream in the past, the far, long gone and missing past.

The Hills Season 3
March 24th 10pm

Cloverfield -- Blair Witch on Steriods

2008-02-18T13:52:00.006-05:00

So, this must have been one of the most hyped up movies I have seen in years. What is it? A bird? A plane? I don't know cause I am motion sick and have my eyes closed! I get the whole, lets make it realistic and have some 'amateur' aka: dumbass film the whole entire fucking movie but really? I can barely handle Americas Funniest Home Videos and they go back and forth between steady camera and the classic parent taping child or animal shaky camera footage. I was pretty pumped to see this movie. I went into it very well knowing it was bound to be some dumb creature and there would be blood and guts, but like most people, I was very curious, what kind of ugly scary creature is after the commonly attacked New York City? King Kong. Nah. Big Foot. Not in New York.. maybe Nebraska. Godzilla. Couldn't be. Let's just say, to not ruin it for you folks who still might suffer through this movie, it wasn't worth the $8.50 and constant nausea from the amazing filming happening before my eyes and the odor of stale popcorn and dried up coca cola slushie on the floor. I saw offically 20 minutes of this movie and the rest I sat with my eyes closed occasionally peaking in an attempt to get my money's worth while praying it would end soon so I could go throw up in the awesome-ly clean movie theater bathrooms. Cloverfield, rest in peace with Blair Witch.

ON NOTICE

2008-02-07T11:18:00.000-05:00

This is a fabulous idea I have stolen from Bumblenug who I am pretty sure stole from someone who stole from someone else, so thank you to all. Beware... you could be ON NOTICE.

People on the phone: Can I just say that yes my job can be kind of a pain for the people I have to call. For those who don't really know what I do I get called a teleomarketer, for argument sake fine, in reality I spend most of my time calling current customers to touch base and make sure they are happy and inform them of new things happening with in the company. I do also call places that may benefit from us, but in no way shape or form am I selling products over the phone and I try to keep convos under 2 minutes. So, people on the phone, don't be rude to me, don't be short with me, I am not the devil trying to suck the life out of you, I am not collections trying to take all your money, I am not even trying to take anymore time up in your life than what it might take to pick a really good booger out of your nose, so stop your bitching, put a smile on your face and say thank you. bitches.

JEEP: So I finally get a new vehicle which of course is not BRAND new, sorry I am not that rich, but it is pretty damn new to me. I get myself a Jeep Grand Cherokee Limited. Super pretty and I love it. NOT!! I drive it off the lot singing "who's got the keys to my jeep? vvrroooommmm..." Happy as can be for about a month, long story short, 2 wrecks, no heat, no air, not even my heated seats work, broken sensors... UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mind you I just bought this in May of 07. Scew Jeep. I am so ready to get rid of it. Jeep your on notice.

KITTY: So Josh and I found a stray little kitty outside of our apartment complex last Friday. The cutest little thing ever! Couldn't even be a year old yet, declawed and fairly healthy looking, so you could tell it has an owner. We take it in because I can't walk away from a kitty!!! The thing slept for about 3 days straight, I don't think I ever saw it really move. It was just happy to be warm I think. Well once kitty got her sleep she was a little more lively... and bitchy! Little miss Kitty is a hissing machine! She only wants to be touched when she wants to be touched. Otherwise she will hiss at you like the devil. Kitty if you don't want to be shipped back out into the cold you better shape up and PS I see why your owners aren't looking for you!!! Kitty your on notice!

Facebook/Myspace: You are the devil. You are like the High School you see on TV or in movies that people are so glad wasn't where they had to go to. Why these sites are taken so personal I will never know, who gives a shit, don't want to be my friend big fucking deal. Don't like my bullitin don't fucking read it. Wipe your tears folks, its not that big of a deal.... Fbook, Myspace...you know.... Moving on...

Traffic: Ok. Seriously? Where did everyone learn to drive. Here are some basics for those who are confused. Red=STOP Yellow=slow your speeding ass down Green=accelerate you dumb bitches. Yield=if there is on coming traffic STOP. Don't speed up to try and beat them to the next stop light you piece of shit. We are all in a hurry i am sure... oh and for those of you who aren't? stay off the roads between the hours of 5am to 2am, we don't care why you are here. Brake tappers.. If I could shoot you I would. If you need to be refreshed on the laws of the road feel free to ask.. if you suck at driving.. get a bike. Everyone is on notice...

Change Can Really Suck Sometimes...

2008-01-31T15:06:00.000-05:00

So I am going to Athens tonight to go see my best friend. Normally I would be so excited I would have called her 20 times already and vice versa about what we are going to do and how much fun we are going to have. But this time it is different. I am still super excited to go hang out with her, but I know after tonight, things will be different forever. I know we are all growing up and going in all different directions, but I am just the worst at accepting change especially when it comes to things and people I love dearly... My Wifey is leaving me! For Texas! (state I am not too fond of already...) She has met an amazing man who unfortunately lives there and she has made a decision to go back to Texas to be with him. Of course I am thrilled to pieces for her that she has found the kind of love I know she deserves... but I feel left behind! :( Selfish, I know, its one of my many ugly flaws, but we only get so many people in our lives and are so very lucky when we find a special connection with someone like I have with my wifey and I am afraid of loosing it. I know it will take effort on both our parts to stay in contact and up to date on each others lives no matter what, I just didn't think it would be from this far away. I hope she knows how special she is to me and how much I love her. I know I will want to tell her all sorts of stuff tonight, but I won't want to cry, so I will hold it in, but damn it... I have done this before....and it didn't work out the way we both had planned(R.I.P. ABK♥).. so this time around my fear is high. I know she will be safe and very happy in my head, but my heart just aches...

"Hi I'm not the one for you."

2008-01-25T12:28:00.000-05:00

Ok, so why is it that these reality dating shows are nothing but a bunch of desperate, crazy, coked-up, stupid, (pick your own adjective) women after one man who really has no intentions of finding their "one true love" on a show set up in a very unrealistic environment? Of course there are exceptions to this statement like the classy Tila Tequila, The Bachelorette, or the literate I Love New York but overall where the hell do these women come from??
Rock of Love was on the other night and I have never really watched it before but was hooked instantly by the Peep-Shows being performed for Mr. Bret Michael's but these silicone, face lifted, loonies. Specifically by one who wrote a poem all by her witty self. Where do these kind come from? Its like a whole nother breed of woman. They have to know that considering this is the 2nd Rock of Love that obviously Mr. Michaels is looking not looking for his "Soul Mate" but just a bunch of asses to tap right? Of course there is some great entertainment value at the expense of these 9th grade graduates whose credit card debt consists of silicone, botox, and the Wal-Mart clearance rack, and great comments like, "I'm just going to show my boobs and get naked" I am not trying to deny this, but I hope people in other places realize that the majority of women do not act this way. I couldn't even imagine behaving this way and my family seeing it or friends for that matter. How embarrassing, they are embarrassed right?
I guess once I get past the initial shock of what is really going on in front of my eyes, I just get pissed off. Why is this so funny? Girls acting like ditsy, big boobed, sex objects, with no brains or true feelings is just ridiculous! Go get the platinum taken out of your hair, stop snorting the coke, and get a job. Get off the TV and quit embarrassing yourself and the rest of the female population.

What's the Point?

2008-01-22T13:32:00.000-05:00

So come to find out my blogging has already possibly pissed off some people and you know what? I don't care. This is my space, my thoughts, and my world. If you don't like what you are reading, then stop. I am doing this page for me and me only. I have allowed people into my world just so you can see who I am, where I come from, and the events in my life that have made me who I am today. I have no regrets, I love every bit of my life and who I am. I speak a skewed truth, but so does everyone. The world around us is what we make it and that alone causes a skewed truth. If you do not like this type of truth that I am am talking about then just stop reading now. I don't want you to know my thoughts, feelings, and emotions. My intentions are not to offend, hurt, or piss off anyone, but just to share. So I am going to give you a quick insight to my personality, whats the point? To possibly help any confused readers understand where I am coming from. Read on if you like, if not goodbye.
I have been known for, well, my whole life to be bit of a drama queen, which translates easily into a bitch. I don't mind though, people find it entertaining most of the time to see me go into bitch mode or into a rant. I try hard to make people happy around me, because it makes me happy. I have anxiety and occasionally this will draw out the drama queen in me as well. Something as stupid as pencils not being the same length in a cup or colored markers not being in rainbow color order will set off one of these spells, just stop talking because I am not listening. Not until I make it right at least. I am known to be able to talk to a wall and be-friend most people, but here's the thing, cross me once and you are gone and please do not mistake my kindness for forgiveness, I am just being a lady. I believe forgiveness and holding a grudge are the same thing, so I usually just choose to forget, because holding a grudge or forgiving takes more energy that I can guarantee I want to spend on the person who crossed me, so I choose to forget. I'm very realistic and this can be taken as being a pessimist, that's your own delusional problem. I am passionate about my family and friends. Without them I'm not me. For the most part there isn't much of a guessing game with me, I am what you see and if you listen, you will hear who I am.
Again, the point? Bare with me, please take nothing personal, this is just my way of letting go.

Why Do Birds Suddenly Appear....

2008-01-17T10:57:00.000-05:00

I've never really been lucky in love. I spent most of my teenage years living through my best girlfriends. With a few of my own hicups, I would say I didn't truly start dating until college. I ended my senior year of high school with a "long distance" relationship that non the less fell a part because of my own recklessness by my second year of college. He was a wonderful person, but I got caught up in the attention of other boys... Other boys, this usually included a little bit of bad boy, mixed with heavy drinker, and a dash of southern gentleman. Well needless to say with less than a year going by of the single life I had been on numourous first dates and that was about it. All the while being pursued unknowingly by a good guy friend. This turned into a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship that lasted for 4 years. Pretty much all through college. Things were great for the most part, but as we grew up, the more I realized we were going in other directions. Then there was the distraction of military boy (see God Bless America) and I was once again off in dating world but little did I know I was about to find what I least expected.
We can re-hash FK over and over but not worth it-- waste-o-time-o-- Just go to (God Bless America)! But during this time in my life I stumbled apon a person that I have known now for about 12 years. Harb left me a message on MySpace!! I was so excited! Harb was a great friend in high school who I always kinda knew had a crush on me, but nothing ever came of it. We graduated and completely lost touch. So 7 years later to get a message was so exciting! He was so funny and could always make me laugh and concidering I was going through some pain in the ass stuff with FK I couldn't wait to go get dinner with Harb. Instantly we hit it off, but I was taken as far as I knew and I didn't want to lead Harb on but I just loved being around him! It was so easy and comfortable. I knew something was bound to come up about dating soon. He knew about FK and was very much a gentlman about it but he didn't hide that he had feelings for me in the past and would love a chance if there was ever an opprotunity. I was torn. The more we hung out the more I started to like the idea too. FK was giving me nothing, but it was so close to his return, so I just decided that was the best thing to do, just wait for FK. Well FK pulled his bullshit, and there was Harb waiting. We went on a first offical date, no kiss, but a great time. I was still broken from FK, but I was ready and willing to try things with Harb. Of course this couldn't be the end of FK. He had to rub it in really good one last time and I was just stupid enough to let him do it. Harb and I stopped talking and I ventured back into FK zone. Got shot down and embarrassed almost immediately and I so desperatly wanted Harb back. I had made a huge mistake. But now what would he think?? I knew I had hurt him bad. How do I make up for what I did? I just convinced myself that it wasn't meant to be, but I missed him so bad! I knew he wasn't going to call me again, so it was up to me. I took a chance and with some heavy apologizing he met me for dinner. And needless to say it's all history now! People have told me my whole life that "when it happens, you will know." A couple times I thought I knew what that meant, but when it really did happen, it wasn't so much exciting as it was scary! I was overwhelmed by how much I loved this man. I had fought him off for 12 years and when I finally gave in it was like winning the lottery! I have never been so happy, truly happy. He honestly loves me for me and I love him for him. We don't change eachother, we embrace eachother. I have always been a skeptic of love, hence my title Something New, skipping old and blue, but Harb, my Joshie-Poo, has slowly been turning me around and realizing that love can be a natural reaction and not something that is just the "next step."

God Bless America

2008-01-11T11:26:00.001-05:00

So my first experience of a military man that I can remember or am aware of was my oldest brother joining the Air Force. I can still hear my mom sobbing as I laid in bed looking out the window at the dark sky because the sun hadn't even come up yet and she and my dad saying goodbye to my brother who was off to boot camp. I was fairly young when he left during the Gulf War and I was so unaware of how serious his decision was. It wasn't till I was older that I realized how amazing my brother's choice was and how special those letters he sent were. And even come to find out years and years later he had taken my baby blanket with him for comfort. So when I told my brother I was dating a boy, yes boy, in the ARMY I expected a different kind of reaction than what I got.
My brother nearly croaked. I thought his head was going to fall off from all the spinning. Hell no was his answer. The rest of my family was ok with it, why not him? He warned me, that is all I will say. I was warned.
For lack of creativity we will call this boy, FK, fill in the blanks as you like. Swept me off my feet. Allowed me to exit a relationship that was going no where but down(another day, another story) and FK just plain made me smile again. I had always sworn off the idea of dating a military man for the simple fact that I just didn't think I could handle the deployments, unpredictable schedules, etc. But here I was, ready and willing. Dumbass. I quickly found out FK was getting ready to be deployed in a month. But I just met him! Oh well, lets just see where things go..right? Things were great, through text message, phone calls, and weekend drives to Columbus, everything seemed worth it. I was willing to wait. It was only 3 months, I could handle that.
We said our goodbyes, and like that my world changed. I partied my ass off with my bestest friend ever! (Thank God for her always, but especially during all this.) It was the only logical thing to do. It was like being single without the stress. I waited with my cell phone at my side at all times. Will FK call or will he not? Checked my email more times a day than I blinked. And was making care packages like it was Christmas everyday. I thought I was doing everything right, everything I was supposed to, I was being that good Army Girlfriend people talk about. I had chances to be with others, date others, do whatever with others, but I chose not to, I was waiting for FKs return come hell or high water.. or so I thought.
The time had come. It was just days now, FK hadn't been that good about calling, but that was ok, I didn't get emails very often, but I could deal with that, I got one letter even after giving him pens, paper, and envelopes, kinda annoyed, but I could deal with that too. I was just ready for FK to be back and things to go back to the way they were, sweet text messages, late night phone calls, and visits. That was until The E-Mail.
I am not sure if I so much was excited to see FK or if I just felt like I needed a reward for all my time, patience, and effort. In response to an e-mail I had written I got what I least expected, dumped. DUMPED! DUMPED! After all I did! F*CK YOU FK! FK didn't want a girlfriend. Well you know what FK I didn't want a big blow to my pride but we don't always get what we want now do we?
It was all down hill from there, I didn't make contact with him till a week after he had gotten back, he had somethings I wanted and I would be damned if I wasn't going to get them back. Of course this turned into "I want to see you" and my stupid ass agreeing. Stupid. That weekend went not so well, we pretty much acted like strangers unless we were drinking and ended with a hug and me driving off. With some text messages back and forth, an apologetic FK, I assumed we were dating again. He had plans to go to PC with friends for the next weekend and I had a Bachelorette party to attend but we were both insistent on talking while apart. Come Monday, I knew something wasn't right. There's another girl, there has to be another girl. There was another girl, a much younger, almost teeny-bopper girl.
And here we end. We had plans to see each other the next weekend and well of course that didn't work out, with an extravagant, totally UNnecessary lie from FK we did our own things that weekend. Drunk and confused, I text him, he called back, I missed it, I called back and was told by the teeny-bopper to "never call this phone again." Click. I hung up. And thankfully that was the end to a stupid little spurt in my life with a stupid little boy who has slightly effected my view of military boys.
FYI: I love my country and I very much so support our troops. Please don't freak out on me, I have much respect for those who protect all the things that I love.

ME

2008-01-10T16:24:00.000-05:00

So, I am sure if you are reading this you already know me and know that I pretty much wear my life story on my sleeve. I can't keep a secret of my own, and lying... well, just never been good at it so I just tell it like it is. In keeping with who I am, I've decided I can't get enough of talking about myself. So, here we go, a synopsis of my life sparing all the juicy stuff for later blogs to come...
My cute little ass was born April 18, 1982 in Minnesota. Yes... ooooo... Minnesota.... I'm a Yankee, practically came from Canada, played in lots of snow... blah blah.. bring on the stupid comments. It's a state and it's cold. That's about all I really remember from there aside from the witch who lived in my bedroom wall that I would talk to at night and the big hill in the back of the house that I would try to go sledding down when there was actually no snow. With a job transfer for my dad, we packed up the family and moved to Massachusetts when I was 5.
Here come more jokes right? We all drove caas and drank lots of booze at the baas.. no we never talked like that except for my youngest brother for like a split moment of his little life there. Here I had my first best friend, my first and last 5 minute grounding that yes I still remember and it devastates my perfection streak, our sandbox, finding my love (well not love quite yet) for soccer, getting in trouble for showing my vagina (yes I call it what it is, that's for another time), my first sleepover at my house that ended up at her house because she cried, going to 3 different kindergartens and The Elephant Show. Again not a very exciting run in Massachusetts. We moved again when I was 8 to Florida. HOW LUCKY RIGHT!?!
Well I must admit I did have a pretty sheltered life when I lived there. I quickly made friends and had my best friend Lindsay. Inseparable. Spent a lot of time changing wet panties from laughing too hard. Found God here. Suntree United Methodist was the place to be. Youth Camp was only for the truly dedicated and you better believe that was me! I had faith, great friends, and loved life. We got to drive golf carts for fun, play in sand pits after it rained and get chased off by the rangers, playing my favorite sport with all my best of friends, chased aligators, watching baby frogs bake in the sun like a fried egg, killing snakes cause there gross, and doing kart-wheels in the Russells driveway for the hot boy across the street. I had a wonderful childhood here. But once again, and this time I wasn't so willing, we were all packed up and moved to Georgia.
I spent the first three years here asking for a one way ticket back to Florida for any possible holiday where people are supposed to give me presents. Thats all I wanted. I was 13 and PISSED OFF. Things finally started to change in 10th grade and I began to have a "group" a "click." I was a part of something. I no longer asked for tickets and the letters to Lindsay and phone calls started to deminish. High school was amazing. I made some awesome memories and friends that will be with me forever. Of course things change and lord knows that word, change, scares the living shit out of me. College. OH college. It came fast and took me... well.. forever to adjust to and finish. My first trip around the block was a total bust, pretty much had a nervous breakdown and left. My second attempt was more successful, but still had some major bumps in the road. Finally I made it to the end with a Bachelor's and an Associate's under my belt after 7 years... yes 7 years... screw you. I now spend my days like most Americans working too hard for too little and wish I could go back to my 7 years of college, good and the bad. So here I sit writing the shortest autobiography ever.

Newbie

2008-01-10T16:13:00.000-05:00

So this is the year that I have decided to step out of my little comfort zone, pop the bubble, take the next step, break out of my shell, whatever you want to call it, that's what this year is going to be for me. I am known for my routines, schedules, being predictable. Well guess what, that probably will still be me for the rest of my life, but I can take baby steps to try and trip all of you up who think you just know me soooooo wellllll...
One of my great, gonna go down in my history book, friends from high school has tipped me off to this great idea of blogging. I still have no idea what "blogging" even means, but I'm doin' it. All of my great thoughts and ideas will fall here, so thank you Miss. BumbleNug (like that old school shit.. yaaaaa...) for this great new way for me to just... release....
Welcome to MY world....